Aziz Ansari has responded to an allegation of sexual misconduct made against him by a woman he took out on a date in 2017. The “Master of None” actor confirmed most of what the New York-based photographer told Babe magazine over the weekend. Except he said their sexual activity was consensual.
The issue has led to talk about what consensual sex actually means.
The woman, known anonymously as Grace, told the online magazine in a Saturday, Jan. 13 article that she had a date with Ansari in September. She went back with him to his apartment, where he continuously asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said he “ignored clear non-verbal cues” and “kept going with advances.”
“Where do you want me to f— you? Do you want me to f—- you right here?” Ansari allegedly asked her. The magazine said he once “rammed his penis against her ass while he said it, pantomiming intercourse.”
Grace said she ultimately left crying in an Uber and feeling “victimized.”
By Sunday, Jan. 14, Ansari had issued a statement saying they did go out to dinner and engaged in sexual acts.
“In September of last year, I met a woman at a party,” he said according to E! Online. “We exchanged numbers. … We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual.”
He added that the following day, he got a text from Grace saying she felt uncomfortable after initially feeling things were okay.
“It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned,” he said. “I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said.”
The news has prompted discussion about how it can be confusing to know if consent was given.
“Being pushy during a consensual encounter is not the same thing as sexual assault,” one person asserted. “The author of the article doesn’t even point that out. #Metoomovement will lose credibility when poorly written articles blur the line of consent.”
Yet another poked fun at the idea that consent isn’t an easy thing to notice.
This whole Aziz Ansari thing makes me wonder WHAT is consent these days? If you can't keep hassling and pushing for sexual activities even though they seem reluctant, what's left?
That's a joke. Don't be that guy. Every woman knows that guy. It's not nice and you feel pressure.— natalie tran 🆈🅴🆂 (@natalietran) January 15, 2018
Others have slammed men for pressuring women into having sex.
“The Aziz Ansari stuff is a perfect demonstration of how rape culture works and how men are socialized to feel entitled to sex,” one Twitter user wrote. “No, there was no rape, but this thing where men pester women for sex and don’t let up, even when it’s clear she isn’t into it, IS RAPE CULTURE.”
Another echoed those ideas.
If you’re in any way not clear on what rape culture is, this is it. The utterly dehumanising idea that as a guy you keep at it because eventually she’ll relent.
This, and Ansari’s subsequent statement make me sick. https://t.co/96n171uNyE— Morven Christie (@morvenchristie) January 15, 2018
